Sickest. Session. Ever.

Two hands I'm going to talk about here. Two hands I'm not going to forget about for a quite a while. Two hands I don't think I'd play differently if they happened again. Two hands that make me want to scream at the moon.

The first hand ...

Rivers, Monday night, $1/3 NLHE. I got dealt A♠-6♠ in the cutoff. There was a $12 raise early. Three callers in front of me. I came along. The button called too. So six of us to the flop, which came 7♠-6♥-4♠.

Nut-flush draw with second pair. Sweet.

The original raiser checked. As did the two players behind him. Fourth guy -- a super-friendly, fairly bet-happy Canadian -- bet $45. I had ~$175 in front of me; everyone else in the hand had me covered. I strongly suspected the Canadian had either 9-9, 8-8, 7-6, 6-5 or 5-4. Those felt the most right to me. Based on that read, I decided to shove all-in right then. It was going to be tough for him to call me with any of those hands, and even if he did, I'd either be ahead or have a shitload of outs. I announced "all-in," feeling good about the decision.

Until the guy behind me on the button shoved all of his chips in too.

Oh, crap ...

Other three guys folded faster than light. Canada went into the tank. "What in the world could you guys possibly have here?" he said to himself. "Are either of you really getting it all in with just a flush draw? Both of you?"

After a minute or two, he mucked.

"You want to show?" I asked the guy behind me.

"Sure," he said and flipped over 5♥-8♣ for the flopped straight.

FIVE EIGHT GODDAMN OFF.

No spade on the turn. No spade on the river. Thanks for playing.

"Good hand," I said.

"Lucky," he said. "But with five guys in, I'm gonna call with any two cards."

Yeah. Sure. Of course you are.

I rebought. (And Canada tried to work out after the fact whether he had correct pot odds to call with his 8-9. He had led out open-ended with two overs.)

Moving on, but first a little backstory ...

Early on in the session, I had raised pre from early with pocket queens and got called by four players. Ace came on the flop, and I check/folded. Shortly after rebuying, I was dealt queens from early again. I raised strong and got one caller. Ace came on the flop again. This time I led out. He called. I check/folded the blank turn. Three hands later, I found two aces in big blind. Seven limpers in front of me. I made it $23 to go. Every single limper mucked his cards. Unreal. And then ... 

The second hand ...

Mere seconds after winning a depressingly small pile of white $1 chips with those aces, I was dealt K♦-K♣ in the small blind. A new but seemingly solid player raised to $13 from early. Two players called. I made it $55 to go. The new guy considered it for a moment and then called.  I had ~$140 left behind; he had me covered. Everyone else folded.

Flop: A♠-8♠-7♠.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. Another flopped ace against my big pocket pair?!

But after a moment of thought, this one didn't seem so bad. After all, this guy had just called a massive three-bet, so what was his range? I came up with pocket pairs, A-A down to 9-9, and A-K. Some players will trap with A-A like this when they're heads up (or assuming they're going to be heads up), but in the short time he had been at the table, he had played straightforwardly. There was no evidence that this was the kind of guy who would flat a three-bet preflop with aces. A-K and K-K also seemed unlikely because I had two kings in my hand, putting less of them in play. So I decided it was most likely he had a smaller pocket pair, meaning he couldn't possibly have flopped a flush and I was almost certainly ahead.

I shoved all-in.

He considered for a moment, letting me know for sure he didn't slowplay pocket aces. I thought I was good. Then he announced "call" and turned over A♥-J♣. I thought my head was going to melt, like Toht's does at the end of Raiders.

Turn came a fourth spade giving me some chop outs, but the blank river ended those hopes.

Once again, thanks for playing.

Blech.

Strike that.  

Double blech.